Reasons why the Rich are better than the Poor

Poor people are sniveling, irresponsible morons who deserve to live in the squalor to which they are accustomed.

Let’s take an objective look at some of the reasons why poor people are poor:

Tattoos – Only a moron would spend hard earned capital on a design for your body that’ll look like shit in 20 years.
Booze – I want to ruin my chances of success and lose money in the process.
Lottery – Let’s play the lottery because it’s easier to blow $5 than to think logically.
Cigarettes – I want to die of cancer so badly that I’d like to pay money for it. The box tells me that I will receive cancer upon using cigarettes, but since I’m a low-income moron, common sense doesn’t apply to me. I am a VICTIM.
Rims – My Dodge Neon doesn’t broadcast what a distinguished gentleman I am, therefore, these Wal-Mart wheel covers will have to suffice.
Cable – I value blowing capital and time spent in front of flickering box, greater than I value acquiring marketable skills and capital. Besides, I don’t want to miss Sex and the City.
Multiple, idiotic body piercings – I want to be turned down for any job where I need to use my intellectual abilities and look like a moronic pincushion at the same time.
Strip Clubs – I want to spend money for affection from ridiculously large-breasted women. Upon closer evaluation, this is actually not a bad use of capital.
Phone Sex – I’d like to pay $3.99 a minute to talk to dirty to a woman, instead of just going to the strip club (see above) and doing it for free.

Rich people spend resources on the following:
Library – The greatest thinker’s in the world have documented and distilled their years of thinking into books, which can be read, completely free of charge.
Internet – See Library. One can find work, acquire skills, meet new people and publish their ideas. The greatest invention, ever.
Courses – Spending time and capital on acquiring new skills, which are in demand.

Well… there you have it. Those are the differences. You can thank me later.