If you’re in the men’s bathroom and someone is taking a shit in the stall and they sneeze… what is the proper etiquette?
Should you:
A) Pretend it didn’t happen?
a. Pro: Avoid acknowledging the fact that they’re taking a shit while you’re only a few feet (metREs for our non-domestic readers!) away.
b. Con: You come across as someone who doesn’t say bless you after someone sneezes despite the fact that you heard it. Sneezes are especially loud when bouncing off tile floors in the company shitter.
B) Say Bless you
a. Pro: You come across as courteous
b. Con: You now obligate the man taking the shit to say thank you; effectively acknowledging your presence. The shitter might want to be left alone and feels embarrassed shitting and sneezing at the same time.
C) The Best Option – Whenever you enter the bathroom, see if anyone is shitting. If someone is taking a shit… LEAVE! Go away. Go to the next floor or the other side of the building and use the bathroom over there. Avoid encountering these types of awkward social s(h)ituations, get it?! Funny, no?
a. Pro: You avoid this rigamarole.
b. Con: Your fat ass has to walk around a little bit.

THE ANSWER IS “C”. You can thank me the next time you see, unless I’m taking a shit, in that case, GO AWAY!